I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
