i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize