How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
