Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize