i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
