end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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