honey bunches of taint.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
