It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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