you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
All the doctor said was why
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
