She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
