the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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