That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
