My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
