i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
