Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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