is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
