ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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