i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
