but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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