So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
