Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize