your room smells of hookers.
And success
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
