I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
