this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
