I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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