I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
