But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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