Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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