I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
