remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
