I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
