Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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