Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
