everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
