We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
