Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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