i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
