gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
