Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
