if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
