I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i drank out of a bidet.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
