nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Panties = found
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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