Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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