He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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