An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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