You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
