I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
