Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize
