Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
