Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
