she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
