no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
