Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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