My room smells like vodka and shame
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
