this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
