sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
