ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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