Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
