talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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