so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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