Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize