You can't special order awesome
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You ruined the universe
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
