I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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